Surrender

 
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I wrote this prayer to tackle the word, surrender. I found myself asking a series of questions: 

What does surrender mean to me? 

What have I been taught about the word, surrender? 

Do I truly want to surrender? 

If it is a good thing, can I truly believe and walk, in surrender the way God had designed it to be? 

I wanted to dialogue with God about how surrender has been so difficult. I wanted to express in words, that my heart understood the concept of surrender. I desired to communicate that I truly want to let Him be my priority and guide in life. As this small prayer developed, I realized how much it reminded me of a prayer that could be in a children’s book. In other words, little did I know that a few simple words can speak and release the deepest cries of my heart. In this, I also had an epiphany that we must search within and wrestle against other less worthwhile, attention-seeking things. We must seek what we truly desire to say to God for even our hearts can be deceived as noted in Jeremiah 17:9-10. Clarity of what our hearts need and desire comes when we invite God to speak into our lives. In doing so, there can be a breakthrough, thus even growth in the knowledge and grace of Jesus (2 Peter 3:18).

Surrender 

God, I surrender my life. 

Each day over and over, 

I’ll try my best, 

please know that it isn’t the easiest. 

Yet, I’ll say, lead the way. 

It’s better your way. 

You know the strands of hair on my head (Matthew 10:30). 

Your thoughts towards me do not compare the number of grains of sand on this earth (Psalm 139:17). 

You’re much smarter, greater, and stronger than I am, really. 

When I get wrapped up in my head, buried with thoughts, 

and the feelings crash over me like a tidal wave, 

I’ll come running to you and make sure that I find myself in your arms. 

When I close my eyes, I can imagine you embracing me as if You’ve seen me for the first time, every time (Luke 15:20). 

And when I run away from time to time,

Thinking that this life I have is mine, 

Remind me that you’re my maker, author, and father. 

You desire what’s good, true, and beautiful for me, 

and know me the best, even at my worst. 

So when the doors shut, I know that there’s a better way to go. 

I’m amazed that you care immensely, 

that every little step that I take, 

You’re involved, 

I can see my little feet plopped onto yours. 

I’m amazed at how patient you are. 

You wait until I see and understand a glimpse, eye-to-eye 

You’ll always be my first, so God here is my life.


Erin Son (@eringeorgias) graduated from Biola University and majored in Liberal Arts and a minor in Bible. She also serves on the worship leadership team at Newsong Church in Santa Ana, California. She loves both local and global adventures, making creative projects, and all things ice cream. She comes alive when having rich conversations with family, friends, and particularly strangers. She has a deep love for humanity and for human flourishing. She is passionate about cultivating a culture of authenticity and vulnerability in a fast-paced generation.

 
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